There are always reasons behind every action. What they are and how they impact Christian counseling is important to understand. That is why so many counselors attempt to “dig out” these reasons. But the task isn’t always quite so simple as some suppose. The first reason why is because we cannot know what is in another’s heart (the inner source of outer actions). That is clear from such passages as 2 Chronicles 6:30 and the like. So, what can a counselor do to discover (as fully as possible) what it is that motivates a counselee?
First, we can ask him. Biblical counselors are not Freudians. Freudians always suspect a wrong answer to any such question asked of the counselee. They believe that down deep inside, in the unconscious, lies the true answer—and it is unknown to the counselee, who will answer by rationalizing his words and actions. Since we believe that we ought to “believe all things” as Paul instructed in his hymn on love, we begin by asking, and then trusting, the counselee. More often than you might suppose, he will hit the nail on the head. When he has difficulty getting it out, we may need to help him do so. Of course, in bringing forth the truth we must always be careful not to “feed” him suggestions of our own which will shape his answer. Before all else, check the first answer on his PDI (Personal Data Inventory) before you attempt any other ways of obtaining the answer you are looking for. You may have to ask further questions about what he has written there, if it isn’t altogether clear but. Again, you should be careful not to add your own ideas to his answers.
But what if he lies? Counselees sometimes do. How do you discover the truth? One way, which presupposes that you take his word for the truth, is to assign homework that is based upon his answers. If he has lied, and your homework is to the point, at the following session, you will discover that he has either done incomplete, poor, or otherwise inadequate homework . In investigating “What went wrong that this wasn’t done properly?” you will often uncover the truth. Homework built on erroneous assumptions will fail. That is the reason you will soon be able to uncover either the lie or the truth (since the lie doesn’t work). Both pieces of information will give you a good beginning from which to move.